⚠️ PETER SHANKMAN IS NOT A LAWYER ⚠️ DO NOT CALL ⚠️ NOT LICENSED IN ANY STATE, TERRITORY, OR MOON ⚠️ NO WIN NO FEE (ALSO NO CASE) ⚠️ PETER SHANKMAN IS NOT A LAWYER ⚠️
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Have you or a loved one been

INJURED?!

Do NOT call Peter Shankman.

He is not a lawyer. He has never been a lawyer. He did not go to law school. He watched one episode of Suits on a plane and fell asleep.

1-800-NOT-A-LAWYER

(This number does not work. That's the point.)

As NOT seen on

The Not-Lawyer TimesWall Street Jurisn'tCNN (Can't Negotiate Nothing)Fox & Friends of LawyersLaw & Order: SVNopeThe Barely Legal JournalBloomberg Not-Law

Cases Peter CANNOT Help With

(This list is not exhaustive. It is ALL of them.)

Peter Shankman refusing your case
❌
"NOPE."

SLIP & FALL

Fell at Whole Foods? Peter will sympathize. Peter will NOT litigate.

Peter Shankman refusing your case
❌
"NOPE."

DUI / DWI

Peter can tell you a great story about Ironman training. Not your blood alcohol defense.

Peter Shankman refusing your case
❌
"NOPE."

DIVORCE

He will not split your assets. He might split an Uber.

Peter Shankman refusing your case
❌
"NOPE."

MEDICAL MALPRACTICE

Peter has opinions about doctors. Opinions are not legal representation.

Peter Shankman refusing your case
❌
"NOPE."

18-WHEELER ACCIDENTS

Big truck? Big problem. Not Peter's problem.

Peter Shankman refusing your case
❌
"NOPE."

MESOTHELIOMA

If you or a loved one was exposed to asbestos, please call literally anyone else.

Peter Shankman refusing your case
❌
"NOPE."

WILLS & ESTATES

Peter will not write your will. He will, however, outlive your attention span.

Peter Shankman refusing your case
❌
"NOPE."

CLASS ACTION

Peter has class. Peter does not have a bar card.

Peter Shankman refusing your case
❌
"NOPE."

DOG BITES

He loves dogs. He will side with the dog.

Peter Shankman refusing your case
❌
"NOPE."

TAX FRAUD

Hard pass. Extremely hard pass.

Peter Shankman refusing your case
❌
"NOPE."

PATENT TROLLS

He's met trolls. On Twitter. Different thing.

Peter Shankman refusing your case
❌
"NOPE."

SKYDIVING MISHAPS

He's jumped out of 80+ planes. He still can't represent you.

Real Photos* of Peter Not Practicing Law

Peter Shankman, not a lawyer
Has never seen a courtroom
Peter Shankman, not a lawyer
Thinks a tort is a cake
Peter Shankman, not a lawyer
Cannot spell 'subpoena'
Peter Shankman, not a lawyer
Billable hours: 0
Peter Shankman, not a lawyer
Pro bono? Pro NO
Peter Shankman, not a lawyer
Juris NOT Doctor
Peter Shankman, not a lawyer
Bar exam? Bar TAB
Peter Shankman, not a lawyer
Not a lawyer
Peter Shankman, not a lawyer
Still not a lawyer
Peter Shankman, not a lawyer
Objection? No idea
Peter Shankman, not a lawyer
Please stop calling

*Real. Every one of them. Still not a lawyer.

Peter's Settlement Calculator™

Find out how much Peter can get you. Results are instant and legally binding*.

*Not legally binding. Nothing here is legal anything.

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Testimonials

Peter Shankman

"I called Peter after my car accident. He told me I wasn't a lawyer either. Life-changing." — Gary, NJ

"I got 0 dollars. EXACTLY as promised." — Denise, FL

"He picked up on the first ring and said 'I am not a lawyer' before I said hello." — Anonymous

Peter Shankman in New York

That said... if your reputation just got hit by an 18-wheeler, Peter has spent decades steering companies through PR crises. And if your team needs a keynote on neurodivergence as a superpower or what AI actually means for your business, he's annoyingly good at that too.

Non-legal inquiries only → shankman.com
Peter ShankmanLIVE CHAT: "I'm not a lawyer"